I’m aware that I’m really putting myself out there, especially with being so forward and using his name. I have made myself a sacrifice by going forward with all of this. Am I stalling my own physical union or destroying any chance with him? Hard to say at this point and who knows, maybe I did make matters worse or much delayed by not being silent about it. But I also felt it was more important to share my story and help inspire others. Author Neale Donald Walsch has said, “your life is not about you.” If I’m able to find all of these things between us, maybe I’m supposed to do what I did. Perhaps there’s a meaning to finding everything I can and being able to show it. Perhaps there’s a reason why I can and many others get triggered by it or are unable to fulfill anything that I did. Am I showing the hand of God working through Twin Flames and their mirrors? Did I just show a murder mystery through our mirrors? Is this more a reason behind why many people don’t want twin flames to be together because many answers can be revealed just by observing our timelines?
I have also created these blogs to give hope to those who think they are crazy to admit their twin flame is a world famous mega celebrity. It’s not to boast in saying, hey my twin flame is a rich celebrity NA NA NA suckers. Having a celebrity for a Twin Flame has its own journey. I have created articles about the topic throughout my blogs besides showing our mirrors based on things I find between me and my counterpart.
This blog was the beginning of my pages. I created this page because while I was discovering everything about twin flames, I started to find some naysayers who would say, no, your twin flame is not famous! I created this blog to show yes, you can have a famous Twin Flame. We are everything they say a Twin Flame is! I believe I’m showing it here.
I have created collages showing our mirrors side by side. I can show the physical world through photography. Showing the inner world, like dreams or telepathy that happen between Twin Flames is more difficult but, overall, I believe telepathy is shown within each photograph if you see it in this way. Nothing was planned between us. I can’t make any of this up, I’m just showing what is.
When I began this blog, I started with making this into a book format but I also ended up with other thoughts of my day to day journey and messed up my original format. I have since decided to move everything that was in chapters and create a second blog just for the original book formatted idea. I have deleted the chapters here. In observation of the stats of this blog, I found too many people didn’t want to scroll to the bottom and find the book portion, they only viewed the items on the top portion.
As it stands, this blog is more of my daily thoughts, ideas, rants news and anything else. One day some items may end up as inspiration for new articles to be posted on my Mirrors Through Photography page or even added to my book formatted blog. So some pages here may disappear, and be deleted without notice as they are now merged into my larger projects.
You are here: MY TWIN FLAME JOURNEY WITH BILLY CORGAN
This blog is my online book formatted blog that was once at My Twin Flame Journey with William Patrick Corgan page. I wanted to have it laid out with the title of each blog page as a chapter of a book. Once I started posting other things outside of the chapters idea, the original book idea was being lost as I couldn’t figure out how to move the pages around to how I wanted without getting more involved with coding and web design. Although I know I could eventually create it, it was just too time consuming for me without hiring outside help with money I didn’t have. So, I just signed up for another WordPress page and moved things around.
This blog is my attempt at sharing my life story with the world. As my counterpart is worldly famous for many years, most people can find out about him and his life while I’m a private citizen and not much is known about me to the people who know my counterpart or who want to know who I am.
I wrote a article titled YES, YOUR TWIN FLAME CAN BE A CELEBRITY, with more information about how you can have a celebrity Twin Flame.
This page was created for all of my mushy love feelings like poems and memes. I am secure with myself and I know what I want. I am not ashamed nor embarrassed. I know where my heart is and has been since the first time I heard his voice in 1995 and had no idea who he was nor looked liked until I bought the album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and seen the one band picture. I didn’t know who any of the band members were but I picked him right out from the one group photo and non of them were holding their instruments. This blog is the even-though-we-are-in-physical-separation, I-want-to-remind-you-that-I-love-you-always-and-forever-just-in-case-you-forget-in-this-illusionary-matrix website.
TWIN FLAME / TWIN SOUL / DIVINE COUNTERPART / BELOVED
I am using the term Twin Flame because many people know what it is now. I have a song I called True Soul Love (Spotify / YouTube) that I wrote and recorded around 2005, and even in that song I used the term Twin Soul not Twin Flame. I’ve began a spiritual journey around 1996 long before finding out that I was actually a Twin Flame in 2015.
My journey began when I found Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch (Published in 1995 and on the New York Times best seller list for 137 weeks.) I would also find my real life, not online, spiritual community back around 1998-1999. I have attended The Art Institute of Philadelphia from 2000-2005, first studying Video Production then after completing it I transferred to a bachelor of science program Digital Media Production. You can see my digital profile on my YouTube channel which a few of my projects incorporated spiritual concepts. PSA for Peace, Light of Love Productions logo, a Neale Donald Walsch Humanity’s Team commercial idea, and a no longer open vegan cafe called Kind Cafe.
I have heard the term Soulmates and even Twin Souls/Flames, but discarded and avoided it like I did with reading romance novels. The first book I’ve read that mentioned Soulmates but it was not a focused topic was the book The Lost Teaching of Atlantis by John Peniel (Published March 1, 1998). One day, I did eventually pick up a book with the topic of Twin Flames. I’ve first read about Twin Flames through Elizabeth Clair Prophet’s small book titled Soulmates and Twin Flames (Published 1999). Both of these books did not go into detail about the connection or mirrors between the counterparts. And in the Lost Teaching of Atlantis it was taught that the male is the one who needs to spiritually align and the female will follow. It is claimed that the male is the inner layer and the female the outer of the sphere shaped soul. If the male does not reach a spiritual attainment, and the female surpasses him, she is free to choose another partner, leaving the male behind for another round of reincarnation. The description doesn’t sound too Twin Flameish in my opinion. The way the book describes it is using the Adam and Eve ￼scenario.
Often, because of the natural receptivity and sensitivity of the female principle, female soulmates learn their karmic lessons sooner than their male counterpart. They also find it easier to be humble and receptive with a true teacher, than does a male principle. There are exceptions of course, but there are many women on spiritual paths that have no spiritual equal, or spiritual better, male counterpart in their life. Sometimes it’s just because they don’t really want that, and all the real final changes it would entail for them, but other times, it’s just that there isn’t anyone around. This presents a great problem because of the following prerequisite of the path: just as ‘Eve’ left and ‘Adam’ followed, to get back, Adam must return first, then Eve will have the opportunity to go with him also. Fortunately, Universal Law provides a solution in such cases. If Adam does not return first, Eve can find another ‘Adam’ if she wishes to. Unfortunately for the men, the burden is on the men to surrender to the Universal Spirit first, before their soulmates, or they leave no viable alternative to their female counterparts. This is not as bad as it may sound though, for at those levels of consciousness, we achieve the primary perfect male and female archetype again, and it is just as totally satisfying and comfortable for the female to be with the new soulmate, as the old – as long as the old soulmate has not achieved enlightenment, and is being rejected.”
“So can higher consciousness women help the man they are with, raise their consciousness so they can be with them in harmony?”
“Many women attempt to change and improve their men. I have never seen it work, nor do I know anyone who has. For whatever reason, it seems that men must either learn from the school of hard knocks, or a true teacher. It is part of their false male ego. They refuse to truly grow or accept their female soulmates as their teacher, let alone equal. It could be that a woman might just happen to start ‘teaching’ a man at the same time he has actually decided to change on his own, and it might work out. Or they think they are teaching one, but it ultimately breaks down or it is false teaching. But from everything I’ve seen and know of, they cannot truly make a man ‘seek the light’ or serve the Universal Will, and attempting to do so even if temporary results seem to have been achieved, will only fail, and impair the woman’s own development. But like I said, it is very fortunate for the female that she can find a new soulmate, that is just as fulfilling, just as real, as the original, should the original fail to achieve their enlightenment. – The Lost Teaching of Atlantis by John Peniel
This was perhaps the best part in the book with the description that can be viewed as Twin Flame. But he uses the term “original soulmate” and “new soulmate”. I believe we can view the Twin Flame being the “original” and the new as in a soulmate substitute for the female until the male has evolved within the same lifetime or he’ll just enter a new cycle of reincarnation. I can go into more details about this but that is another book I’m slowly working on. For now, I’m moving forward with this introduction.
There may have been times where I felt a feeling or a ‘knowing’ as some people would call it, that Billy Corgan was mine, but I would quickly dismiss it and I can’t describe the words fully about this other then ‘this is crazy. He’s a celebrity and I’m sure hundreds of desperate girls spread open their legs for him and tell him he’s their soulmate. I’m just going to stay away from that. I might be obsessed with these thoughts that I have. Why do I think about this celebrity? I’m just going to admire from afar. This must be a phase. My one celebrity crush.’ ❤️
As you can tell from the dates, the books I’ve read are very reflective of his Machina album that featured the song Stand Inside Your Love a Twin Flame song.
DON’T GO ON THAT PATH
I did though. I also wanted to learn more about it. I NEEDED to learn more about it, as I was presented with this huge, I didn’t know what it was. I was informed that I was this celebrity’s Twin Flame. I wasn’t expecting to be a twin flame. I didn’t ASSUME that I was a soulmate OR a Twin Flame, to some celebrity, or go up to him and say ‘hey, I’m your soulmate, baby’. Now, here I am, reading all about it, because this sounds too good to be true. Anyone can just say they are a soulmate to a celebrity! Rich and famous! What a dream so many people desire to have! Johnny Deep has like 12 people claiming to be his twin flame. Who knows how many more now, I don’t follow him nor his fan pages. People in position of power can also mentally abuse people if they are narcissistic. We can see this example with Jeffery Epstein and him preying on young girls who are in vulnerable situations. I need to roll up my sleeves and go digging. Regardless if it felt right, because I was already in that bubble phase, and regardless that I loved him, I need to take my brain with me.
Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1
Sometime in 2014 I jumped in the Smashing Pumpkins online Facebook fan community. I was even being invited to other groups over time. I was interacting with the fans before I learned that Billy Corgan actually used Twitter and it was him tweeting. It took me sometime before I tried interacting with the account that he used in 2015 and I even had some interaction with him and he friended me.
I was actually enjoying myself as a fan with the other fans! I was interacting with people who had the same favorite band and share a love for the music and respect for this man. Then again, I was being attacked in the fan community before I learned I was a twin flame. I already announced my heart filled love for him in all of the fan groups. I thought I was in good company being with the other super-fans. I mean, I can be me and share my love and not be ashamed. I didn’t meet too many people over the years that had the same music appreciation for them. Now, we have social media and can connect with other people with the same music taste. I’m going to be free and be a little flirty, because I’m a Libra and a stripper and I’m sure these people understand and there seems to be other women who have the same attraction towards Billy. I mean, I could be wrong and they could be fame chasers or gold diggers, but I didn’t feel alone because I haven’t come across many, if any women, who found him attractive in my life. So when someone posted a picture of him, I wasn’t embarrassed and admitted my love. And the fact of being a stripper for many years, this was the man I actually want to talk to. I want to flirt with. I want to do a sexy dance for. I want his arms all over me, not all the guys I deal with at work!
Yay! I have friends! I found my people! This is my tribe! Maybe I’ll find a future boyfriend/husband in this group! They think about Billy and enjoy his music as much as I do!
Apparently, I thought wrong. Not everyone appreciated me, or I was tolerated and I annoyed others. I mean, the one group may had like six thousand or more people in it so, if not everyone looked at every post or went on Facebook often, I’m sure many at one point came across my posts! They probably still do! I would eventually be removed and blocked by that one Smashing Pumpkins fan page. I’m just spreading some LOVE! Here’s some examples of memes that I made that you can probably still find in those groups:
Just a simple search of my name back in 2014-2015 in the groups and you’ll come across a jackpot I’m sure! Here is someone lecturing me about posting my love for the man. This fan community seems to have a toxic fan base. I cut off this persons name:
I don’t know what this person was saying about “how to love him” maybe it should have read how much that I loved him. I think this comment was more her telling me how I can love him on HER terms. I was following the lead of other fans and wasn’t the only one that expressed that I was HIGHLY attracted towards him. Well, maybe I was the only one HIGHLY attracted to him, because I now know and understand more.
I am going to elaborate on being HIGHLY attracted to Billy Corgan. When I say this, it does not mean that I am centered in my groin area, the lower chakras, and proceed to masterbate to every picture, every night. I am not attached to his body in that way. It was always more than that for me. It was always about looking into his eyes whenever I see an image of him. It never crossed my mind over the years to even LOOK between him legs if there’s a bulge or not as I wasn’t interested in knowing about his package in his pants nor the amount of money he made. (I had to learn about this in the groups, that women were judging men’s bulges, and I was a stripper, of all things!). I loved him in my own little way and most of my life is spent away from him. I didn’t even go to many shows. My first show was Zwan, AFTER he first broke off the Pumpkins. In my heart, I know I love him. Highly, to me, is more on a soul level as opposed to the physical body. I had his music. I had images I saved over the years but rarely went and seen him in person. He’s just my one celebrity crush. On going and never ending. Then, after entering the online fan community and this little “thing” I had, started to unravel and grow beyond I ever knew possible!
Perhaps I end up posting more then I should and they hated it. Maybe I was annoying. (IE: how I imagine some of these people thinking to themselves while scrolling through their newsfeed: oh no, there’s KIM again with an “I absolutely LOVE Billy Corgan” post AGAIN, for the TENTH time TODAY!!) I was expressing myself like everyone else though, I even had my own group for this purpose! There was even a woman that posted a picture of what was supposed to be a bulge that was Billy Corgan wearing his silver pants but his head was cut off. I can’t confirm if it was him or not in the picture. It COULD be, but I’m not assuming. It’s like, Dear Lord. You RUINED my perfect image of him in my head! As a Twin Flame, I really didn’t care about the package God has graced him with in this life. All I knew is that I loved him and I didn’t understand why.
As for her comment about the music. They ALL resonated with me, because I LOVE ALL OF HIM. I can’t just pick any one song. This is Billy Corgan! DUH!! Sure, ask me about any other celebrity, I’ll have a better answer for you that you will like, but when it came to Billy Corgan, for me, it was always that I loved his music. Something prevents me from creating “lists” of songs I love/hate. That’s how I “knew” this is my one favorite celebrity/artist. I can’t explain it. Isn’t that what a favorite band/artist is about? That’s how I learned how to define it. Maybe they shouldn’t be in the fan group pages being so judgmental and petty about an artist works of art. That’s my opinion. That’s how I felt when it came to Billy Corgan. That I felt I was true fan of his and that’s why I was in his fan groups. I don’t just go and join random fan pages and post petty things nit picking about other artist music and making list of what songs I rank that I like more than another or how I would rewrite a song to my liking. Go write your own damn music! This is the one artist I seem to love, no matter what. Bon Jovi don’t even compare to Billy Corgan in my world. Maybe I’ll write up a list for this girl of the Bon Jovi songs I like and don’t like. I’m sure she’ll be happy.
Some time before I started down this path, I had been in a few other fan groups, mainly James Spader and the Blacklist television show that he was on. I was going through a phase of not listening to too much music and motherhood. My daughter was 2 in 2014 and I also had a son born in 2009. Billy Corgan and music sort of slipped in the back of my mind, still there, just not a focus, but I was watching some television shows along with my kids father. We were watching shows like NCIS, Criminal Minds and Blue Bloods. Then I became a fan of the Blacklist when it first came out (October 2013).
Who is this bald headed man? I looked him up and found that oh, look, he was in that movie Stargate and I thought he was hot in that movie (not Billy Corgan hot, but he was cute). I soon found the groups and became somewhat of a groupie to this show for a while. When I learned that I may have another celebrity crush and it wasn’t Billy Corgan, I was excited and felt “normal”. Yay, I found another celebrity I can be attracted to! I wonder if I’ll feel the same way with him as I do about Billy Corgan. Well, the thing is, I would eventually learn that James Spader just didn’t stick with me like how Billy Corgan does.
I learned that the women who had the hots for James Spader were nickname the Spadettes. It’s cute. Women were flirty and there was even women that would post screenshots of James “assets”. I learned a little more about James as an actor but, in my mind, an awakening of the other one started to emerge again. Maybe I’m digging James bald look because it reminds me of Billy Corgan? Oh Billy! I want to go in his groups and maybe flirt with his pictures with other ladies and talk other stuff. Maybe I can find “support” and friendship with other fans of the band. This sounds like a good idea! I need to find Smashing Pumpkins fan pages and not Blacklist fan pages. Mr Spader don’t hold my interest truly and I still have this “thing” for Billy Corgan. For me, Billy Corgan has no end. He just outshines everyone, in my mind.
Time went on. The fandom for James Spader and the Blacklist fizzled out. The energy inside and all around me was building up for Billy Corgan while I getting more deep in the Pumpkins groups. I didn’t feel this way while in the James Spader groups. You can say my heart ejected James and returned Billy back to the throne of my heart. Like a wrestler, he picked him up and toss him out of the ring which was on top of a mountain and James fell into the abyss of nothingness.
Now, here I was being torn down and targeted within a group of insecure fans? Seriously? I guess I wasn’t a part of their cult and something to fear. Maybe I was mirroring them and they didn’t like it. I triggered them. I’m seriously missing the Spadettes. There’s SO much DRAMA within the Pumpkin fans! But I’m not drawn to James Spader like Billy Corgan!!!!! WTF??!!! Can I PLEASE have another celebrity “crush”?
And then, I would find out I was a twin flame……??????
Oh, how wonderful! I thought there was something wrong with me to have such a love for this celebrity! I kept it hidden in my heart for a long time and I HATED it. I felt like I was cursed. It’s like, he’s a celebrity and I don’t know how I would meet him or if he would even have an interest in me at all if I did meet him, so I’ll just enjoy him from a distance. I don’t want to just go to shows, I wanted him! I’m an all or nothing type of person. Sometimes I wondered in my head if people “just knew” where my heart is anyway because it’s probably written on my forehead or something. Never mind the fact that I’d dance to their music while at work, like a LOT.
Need that as a tattoo, right? No, I have none. ZERO tattoos. I don’t need to display it on my body. My love is in my heart. So, I’m not a fan girl after all? This could also explain the super-fans reaction towards me. He’s the only one I love this way! It all makes sense now!!! Thank you!
So………. now what? I have written an article called YES YOUR TWIN FLAME CAN BE A CELEBRITY that goes into more in-depth detail about the difference between a Super-fan and what a Twin Flame to a celebrity is. I have even continued the story of my journey within the Twin Flame groups on Facebook.
This was the starting point of my Twin Flame blogs. Not only that, but what I gathered in a narcissistic indirect message from my twin flame, that he also wanted me to go public about it and show evidence. It was during his time at Impact Wrestling in 2016 that these things would show up and it appears this is what he wanted me to do since he was cyber stalking me and following my online journey of discovery about Twin Flames. I wonder…who wrote these scripts…
The word to go public was accented, so I took it to mean to take my findings public. Unless he thought I should go public with an apology in loving him? An apology of showing love and giving him flowers? An apology of being open in his little narcissistic group of negative minions that are drawn to him? I took this to mean to go pubic with my findings. All that other stuff would be his own insecurities and undeserving of real love that he keeps repeatedly singing about.
They say there’s no coincidences in life and I was meant to see these videos when I did. There was a message in them for me because he can’t talk to me personally nor with an actual real profile from him.
Can I show physical world evidence of a twin flame? Everything we claim it is to be? Am I making all of this up in my head? Maybe this man is lying to me! Was I supposed to watch these videos? Maybe I am going crazy! Here is where it’s accented about evidence. He wants evidence of our mirrors. This is his own insecurities but I have provided plenty and in the process I’ve learned a lot myself.
It’s also possible with the Hardy brothers with their delete or decay thing is related and another passive aggressive move by my beloveds ego to want me to delete my blogs. But, whatever. I felt like after stepping into this, that maybe this is me showing the hand of God.
I’m annoyed of this passive aggressive indirect messages and silent treatment. He has a problem with me or my blogs, he can speak to me in person, not send flying monkeys or hide behind fake profiles.
That behavior is NOT ok, but here is my blogs and me trying to show this Twin Flame connection and how it shows up in reality.
THERES SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT US
I don’t know for certain what it is. If we are not the definition of a Twin Flame pair, then we have way too many coincidences nothing more? There’s something here that is indeed rare and not many people even in the community can show nor do they even want to! I feel as I even scare off many people. Naysayers and people who are not true Twin Flames get taken aback. I seem to have my own style of teaching about twin flames while everyone else is stuck on names and labels and definitions to every relationship they have in their life. This relationship is a soul mate. This relationship is a twin soul. This relationship is Karmic. This is my Twin Flame. Oops, now this one my twin ray because errr I confused a Narcissistic for a Twin Flame and now I’m so full of lies and confusion I need to be better than all of you Twin Flames and create a new label. That’s what it feels likes to me in the Twin Flame community.
I’m attempting to showing our mirrors in the physical world. This is what this blog is about. I’m not going to explain different categories of human feelings for every relationship. In my little world, it’s one Twin Flame and everyone else. I’m going to call the ones who are blood and friendships as Soul Family not minions of Soulmates. And then there’s my Twin Flame, my beloved.
I hope I supplied enough physical world EVIDENCE like Billy wanted. It took me a long time to compile together and create these blogs. This was a no overnight creation. Could I be showing the hand of God? I leave it here for you, the reader, to decide.