I began The Art Institute in Summer of 2000, month of July. When I went back to my parents house, my mother told me, if I were to live under their roof, I must go back to school. I enrolled at the Art Institute for an Associate in Science in Video Production. I did have other ideas but this is the one I went with. I didn’t know I would be approved and when I did, I was excited. Other things I was considering was massage therapist and the School of Sacred Ministries, but I never did. I would learn now that, when I first seen the Sacred Ministries program, it was just beginning. Full circle I guess you can say.

I began full time when I started. I was planning of paying as I go with the program. Full time at this school means 5 four hour classes a week for 11 weeks. They do quarterly. Winter (January, February, March), Spring (April, May, June), Summer (July, August, September), Autumn (October, November, December). My plan did not turn out as I hoped. By the next month, August, my parents found out I was dancing again and again, I was kicked out of the house. It was a rough first quarter. I know August is my father’s birth month and middle name, but I’m starting to hate August. (For those who don’t remember, the first time I was kicked out was August.)

A Phoenix Rising story, part 2

I have a lot on my plate this time. I had my cats and now, school.

Hot For Teacher

In a Linear timeline, it wasn’t until my third quarter in April of 2001, one year, one month and 4 days after meeting William face to face for the first time, when I would had hit hard for one of my instructors. I never felt hard so fast before. It was instant. I even had a physical reaction. I never had a crush on a teacher in the elementary levels. People might have thought me gay back then because I would like some of the female math teachers and would say they were my favorite teachers. Then Mr Instructor walks in.

The man was pure geek with geeky glasses. I would be talking to someone behind me and standing by a seat I would be taking. The instructor walks in. I turned around and one glimps, I fell right into my seat and Boom, there I was, “in love.” For 2 weeks straight, Van Halen Hot For Teacher was in my head.

Mr Instructor was on the short side for men. He was about 5’6” maybe with brown eyes. He was only 6 years older then me. When I started school, I was about 24. I was older then most who would be fresh out of high school. Nothing like being in love with an instructor to make one eager to learn!

When this man first spoke, I was in heaven. His voice was more on the deeper side. It was much easier for me to listen to him. I have difficulty hearing voices on the higher end. He also had a southern accent. I never knew I had a “thing” for Southern accents but I did now. He was originally from North Carolina, then I think he lived in Ohio? Eventually finding his way to Philadelphia and to teach at my school. I remember he spoke about having a brother. He was not a favorite of many of the students, as I heard complaints. I kept my “crush” to myself. I would have him for 4 different classes in the year. Confession: A few times I made sure that I signed up for his class he was teaching, if it was available. You can say, I became a fangirl of him.

I was so grateful to have him as an instructor at the time. I felt such energy with him. Could he have been a twin? After S, I met this one. Some kind of soulmate? I felt on top of the world. Unrequited? I would eventually learn, I’m not his type. His preference would be dark skinned women. African American. To feel the way how I felt, was more devastated. Why do I feel this way? I feel like flying and so happy. If many people felt like this with someone, I can understand the mislabeling of a Twin Flame. I don’t remember too much about him to try and create a full mirror analysis. Would he share things in common with William, and how much so, besides the obvious video, audio and a brother? Physical characteristics? How much of a mirror do me and him share?

I remember in one class with him, when he was speaking, we looked right into each other’s eyes and it must have been intense because in mid sentence he would say “Wow”. Then move on.

It appears my Twin has pickup up on this. It was reflective in his music video, Lyric at the time. I never seen the video so I never made a connection back then of “coincidences”

Also, I was Vegan and I went to a few rallies in the city. I can’t remember what they were for.


The Spaniard was a fellow classmate. He would show up later while I stayed for my Bachelors. He may have appeared in my life in 2004. We were both in the small class that graduated from the new program called Digital Media Production. My instructor crush was no longer an instructor. And the program I end up staying for he couldn’t teach. To teach the Bachelor program, you need a Masters degree and he only held a Bachelor’s, so he could only teach classes in the Associates Program.

Spaniard was a dark haired, white Spanish guy from Colombia. I think he was a few years younger than I. He was also on the short side for men. Of course, I’m short so, I was happy. We didn’t click very well at first. I would eventually grow to like him. He took a bit of an interest in me in the beginning. We went out once. I didn’t like him. It would happen that I would start liking him after being in a few of the same classes and we had to work together. You can grow to love someone.

Again, we had some opposing energies and tried being friends. We were able to work together. He liked my work ethics, multitasking etc. He would be going around playing other girls though. And I’m just about fed up with “love”. Towards the end of my schooling I was getting back into my music and started playing guitar again. Half the lyrics to my album was based on my relationship with him and one of Mr Instructor that was kind of blended together, in directly.

Apparently Billy has a song called the Spaniard. I do not know the original release date. He would feather it as a full recording song on his album Ogilala but he has performed it live before an official studio recording. You can say the lyrics to this song with the words “Take me as I am” can fit within this relationship with the Spaniard. He knew I danced. I don’t think he liked it. He had his judgments. I think hearing them made me wanted him more. A man who don’t like strip clubs? Why, hello handsome. Where have you been all my life?

He never went to graduation. We would have sat next to each other if he did because of alphabetical order of our last names. He also had his opinionated views of a graduation ceremony. He came from a wealthy family in his home country. I believe he shared a story of how he came in contact with money and didn’t have to work. He lived in a nice apartment in center city. He was classically trained on the piano, but wasn’t fully into it. He was in a band before. His favorite clothing line was Kenneth Cole. He’s a leg man. His skin is sensitive to texture of clothing. I know he also had a brother. He had an interest in going to Asia sometime after school. I think he wanted to live in New York as well and his brother may have. We took a trip up to New York together one time. It was interesting.


I need to check these dates. I was at the School District from July to Dec. I quit dancing for 3 months in hopes of being hired. It was a paid internship. I was allowed to stay 3 months after my requirement.


A month before school was out, I decided I wanted to join a gym. I began working at a club and making really good money. I toured a few and decided on the really nice expensive one. I know The Spaniard played squash at 2 of the gyms and this one was one of them. Well, maybe we can be friends. No, that didn’t happen and he would disappear and I stuck around. I took advantage the the entire facility. I almost lived there. I think I worked 2 clubs because there is one right in the same area as the gym. I remember I worked there sometimes as well and go to the gym or worked after.


I may have been at the Gold Club in the beginning and quit to work at the school district. Than went to Show n Tel after….. or it may be that I quit Wizards and went to Gold Club after but before Show n Tel…. when was I at Centerfolds???


I end up learning a lot about him. Our relationship didn’t go anywhere.

After reading about Twin Flames, I could have swore to you one of these two were because they would have totally fit in with the descriptions and the energies. I’m glad I didn’t know or believe in soulmates back then. Only when I knew who my Twin Flame is that I can see the connection through everyone. I can’t say it’s true the other way around.

Of course, Mr Corgan I was a fan of the entire time. He was still there in the background of my life. They probably heard the music blaring through my headphones. I still didn’t understand my hearing back than. Im sure everyone who has normal hearing could hear it around me. I was still wearing the T shirts the first 2 years of school before I decided I no longer wanted to wear shirts with logos and advertisements and being a human billboard and stopped wearing blue jeans because I wanted to “level up” myself in the dating world with city boys. This is probably where I attracted Mr Spaniard because I was dressing well and wearing these fancy hats! Still, I had my one and only celebrity crush during these other real world in my physical life crush phases. If the date of this song was written around 2014, it would be a 10 year Nonlinear timeline.

I knew damn well, all during this time, if any of these relationships had ended up in marriage, if an opportunity arrived that I could have been with Mr Corgan, I would have that one affair. No one else. I still had no interest in any other celebrity. I can tell you, they would both probably agree, along with everyone else who personally knows me.



Of course I would find a new interest. He worked at the gym I joined, a dance workout instructor. He also taught dace at a nearby dance studio. He was a professional Ballet dancer for the Philadelphia Ballet Company. He was what he called a Euro-Asian. Half Asian and half European white. He was about 12 years older than I was. A little beyond my usual dating age range, but in my mind, not for short term hook ups or friendships.

I took an interest in taking his class. I would walk by and peek in a few times before I went in to see what kinds of things they do in those classes. I was doing everything else at that gym. Racquetball, Squash, Weights, Boxing. I felt pretty fit. There was one time I swung a heavy door open by accident but I was impressed with myself! The Spaniard was now gone but who cares, I’m taking interest in working out and like minded fitness people.

Over time, me and him would eventually strike up a conversation. We both relate to each other as dancers. He told me he did striping as a male dancer and many professional dancers do find themselves as strippers to help supplement money. He told me he didn’t start dancing until he was about 14 and how it’s easier for a male to get into the industry rather than a female because it’s over saturated with women. I asked the gay question. He would tell me most male dancers and straight and many are married. We had many conversations.

I once went to that dance studio before that he worked at but I don’t remember him. It was a unique school as they have on going adult classes. All you have to do is show up. I took a jazz class for a bit. I would eventually find my way there to take his ballet class.

Nothing much happened between us as we were friends. He was opening his own studio and I offered to help with a website. I wanted to try and do something with the degree I just got and I was happy to help! I didn’t charge anything. Long story short, he would pay someone else and I was cut off. Apparently I don’t do well in the friendship department either.

After I had my hearing first tested, I started questioning how much of my life was I missing because of my hearing.


Thank God for the few pics I took of myself. They have dates….

July 2004 – Wizards

December 2005 – Show n Tell

Crap. Need to check laptop for others….