APRIL 5, 2003

I finally went to a show! It was during the Zwan tour in 2003. I was a fan close to eight years. I went by myself. Maybe it was also subconscious that I went when he was doing a faith based band. I was only interested when his heart is with God. When he is with God, my heart felt a pull to go see him. So, symbolically speaking, this was a sign.

In April 2003, Billy just turned 36 in March. I was 26 with my birthday in October. I was living in Philadelphia and completed my Video Production program and I was in my Bachelor of Science in Digital Media Production program. I have thought of going to the Fort Lauderdale location for the new degree because my school didn’t have it yet when I thought of changing programs. I would end up just completing the entire program and transfer to the new program which was starting the following quarter anyway. I stayed in Philadelphia and was freshly into my second quarter when I attended this concert.

I went to a few other concerts by the time I went and seen Zwan, with some people. I went to Marilyn Manson, Kid Rock/Aerosmith and an Ozzyfest. I believe I went to OzzyFest and Kid Rock/Aerosmith with the same swinger couple. The seats we had were lawn seats. But at one point during the show, there was a stage set up in the back and Aerosmith performed some songs there. It was mobbed and I’m short and couldn’t see, but I managed to have some random guy put me on his shoulders and I was looking right at Steven Tyler. I don’t think I stayed long at OzzFest. I was scheduled to work that evening and decided I wanted to make money instead of spending it.

I guess I felt more confident in going on my own to see the man my heart is drawn towards. After all, I did everything else by myself, dinner, movies, go to women’s public bathrooms. Yes!, I don’t go with someone or in a group, imagine that! So, why haven’t I gone to a concert by myself? Well, I finally went to see my beloved in concert!

During the show, I stood off to the side, I wasn’t close to the stage. It was General admission so, there were no seats. It was Standing room only. People are mobbed tight together, perhaps pushing to get up close to the stage. The Electric Factory was a small venue in Philadelphia. I stood off to the side. A single woman all by herself. There was a point in time where it appeared he was looking in my direction. How awesome. Then at one point I was looking above, at the ceiling, for no apparent reason but a “test” to see if he did look at me. I’ve noticed he looked up as well, as if saying what am I looking at? Haha. Made you look! It may have looked a bit like when we first met and him looking up at the balloon I had attached to my guitar. On a subconscious level, it was probably a message I wasn’t thinking of at the time. Looking up, faith and God, as this new album and band he put together. Do you remember me?

Apparently, while searching the Internet, a professional photographer did take pictures of the show. I took no pictures. I can’t have evidence that I was stalking him! I mean, stalker syndrome is real! When I first embarked on this Twin Flame journey and someone spoke about Stalker Syndrome with the non celebrity twin flame, my head went off like a like bulb! My first show, and I couldn’t even take a damn picture. No pictures at the signing. I was going to school for video and digital media, why couldn’t I take a picture? I probably could have gotten clearance being a student, but, stalker syndrome. I was happy to have finally gone to see him in concert! I mean, it took me 8 years! Baby steps. Diving in and doing a photo shoot was not in my radar. Was this a 2 show date? I can’t remember. It would make sense because I don’t think he wore this shirt at the one I was at and my ticket said April 5th. Like the second picture in my collage below, I don’t know. Thanks Billy. It’s been too long.